In our Sunday School class, we are reading Shepherding A Child's Heart. We divided the chapters up between the couples and are presenting a review of the chapters to the class. Because I am a woman, I will not teach the class which is mixed gender. My husband prepared a presentation. He did a wonderful job. I am so proud of him. He said so many wonderful things that I wouldn't have said. His personality gave him the insight on things I wouldn't have picked to talk about if I had presented the chapter. His love for the Lord shined through with his compassion for life, his honesty about his own inadequacies, and his sincerity for the Almighty.
The day before the presentation, it scared me because he seemed to not even understand the chapter at all and he was fearful of even talking on the topic presented. Heavenly Father used this opportunity to use my husband in a wonderful way. He admitted that he grew through the process and I have seen that growth.
While we were preparing for our presentation. I took it upon myself to write my own review of the chapter. Articles that I was reading that week just jumped into my lap that mirrored the topic Tripp was talking about and I felt compelled to write about them.
So...this is my Review on Chapter 6 of Tedd Tripp's Shepherding a Child's Heart:
In chapter 6 of Shepherding A Child’s Heart, Tripp focuses on “Reworking Your Goals” . He starts out the chapter with an illustration of a builder building a house. I believe he is laying a foundation for our focus as the reader. The question we ask is “Where do we begin?” Certain scriptures come to mind.
In Matthew chapter 7 we are cautioned that our foundation for life should be upon the Rock of Jesus Christ. And in Psalm 127:1 “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it…”
I did an object lesson with my children using this exact concept. They were to build a house out of Popsicle sticks. Then they were to do a science experiment. We had a large container with sand on one side and a rock on the other side. One of my boys set their little house on the sand side and the other set their house on the rock. We made some observations…then the storm set in. We poured water over everything and watched what happened. It was a fun time filled with laughter and songs.
Anyway, Tripp wants us to recognize that our goals should be focused on the Almighty- with the “chief end of man” being “to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.” He wants us to know that the purpose of his argument is not whether goals are lawful or beneficial” it is whether our goals are “adequate” as “ultimate goals”.
Throughout the chapter, Tripp reminds us of the areas he mentioned in chapter 5.
These areas are: Special Skills , Psychological Adjustment, Saved Children, Family Worship, Well Behaved Children, Good Education.
With these areas of focus, Tripp gives his opinion on how to form goals that focus on the “chief end of man” (A Biblical Perspective). Because of time, I will only focus on a couple of the areas he talks about.
I. Special Skills:
As an example, Tripp says, “Many parents who would never allow their children to attend public school, will send them to dance classes. They will refuse to have them influenced by secular humanism in school but will expose them to unbiblical ideas of beauty in dance class.”(p.50)
* Now if I were to put my child in a special skills activity it would only be for the reason of gaining a specific skill that I was unable to teach. And in those earlier years, I would desire a coach, teacher, or friend that had similar Biblical values. I don’t believe children should be put on a battlefield until they are equipped with the proper weapons to fight. This is a difficult choice to make and I don’t do this perfectly…I struggle when there are things our children want to be involved in something. I need to really pray about what my reasons are for or against an activity.
*But I do not think Tripp is saying that we can’t put them in activities, He is just saying that we should be aware that when we do put our children in these situations, they are going to be exposed to an unbiblical worldview.
*My personal opinion is that it is more difficult to unlearn wrong thinking, than to instill correct thinking first. Once someone learns a behavior it takes a long time to unlearn it. I would prefer to learn what it is right from the start. In my own life, I have plenty of bad habits that are difficult to undo. And it would have been a blessing to learn the right way to do things from the start.
II. Psychological Adjustment:
Tripp presents what he calls a “social example” dealing with a bully and gives scriptural guidance what to teach our children in those situations. He says that we should “instruct our children to entrust themselves to God”.
*As a parent, we are to teach our children these socialization skills from scripture. (Deut.6: 7 “You shall teach them [the commandments] diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.”)
*In an article called “Nurturing Loving Children, or …How To Teach Socialization Skills”, Ruth Lindstrom states that “There is no social institution which has been devised which is a better laboratory or classroom for the socialization of children than the one created by God from the beginning of time – the family. Families will be more effective if they realize that their home provides the prime opportunity to impact their children in such profoundly important ways.”
She states that “Every parent is socializing their child(ren) from birth” whether they do an excellent job or not. Then she proceeds by giving some suggestions and examples how we are to go about developing excellent social skills. These are:
1. Model Social Behavior in your home.
2. Read and Study the Word of God, The Bible, for knowledge about Socialized Behavior.
“Those who learn to live accordingly will be truly socialized persons in the best sense of the word, because God created us for fellowship with Him and each other.”
3. Consistently Train, Teach and Counsel Your Children.
4. Learn The Rules Of Etiquette.
“…a person who has learned the graciousness of treating others as they would like to be treated will innately demonstrate well bred manners…and put others at ease.”
5. Role Play Appropriate Behavior.
6. Practice Good Social Skills –Bring Others Into Your Home. (Hospitality)
“…An added bonus is that by exercising hospitality parents will observe negative social behavior…which gives them the opportunity to help their child(ren) overcome their social handicaps.
7. Take Advantage Of Opportunities to serve others in your community and church.
8. Pray for wisdom and Spiritual Strength To Make The Changes Necessary In Your Own Life
9. Pray for your children.
http://www.familydiscipleshipmin.com/
III. Education
Tripp wants us to have a Biblical objective in the goals we set for education. He asks if our focus is on the grades that our children receive or are we more focused on “doing work diligently for God.”
*Colossians 3:23
“Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord, rather than for men…”
*In this month’s edition of Home School Enrichment, a magazine I really enjoy, there is an article called “Whose Standards Do We Follow?” by Kimberly Williams.
She says that, “… the way we live and the standards we set for our children need to be with eternity in mind. Otherwise, we have sold our children short.” Then she quotes Luke 9:25 “For what is a man profited if he gains the whole world, and loses or forfeits himself.”
Her “most important goal as a parent is to teach her children to love the Lord God with all their heart, soul, mind and strength first and foremost! Secondly, to love their neighbor as themselves…” She also wants to teach them to work hard “…because that is how we give glory to God.”
Then she practically applies how this works out in a few of their academic subjects. (Language, Math, Science, History, and Bible)
Her conclusion is that “Learning should be an everyday occurrence, and should not be divided up between secular and spiritual. As a believer, everything should be spiritual. This happens when we incorporate the things of God into our daily studies and activities.” And we must “Remember that academic excellence is a commendable goal, but it must be properly laid with the correct foundation.”
Overall, I think Tripp presents a good argument about setting Biblical Standards for our goals in child training.
As an advocate for home schooling, I would have liked to see him address the topic of Home Schooling. Also, He doesn't say much about giving children opportunities to witness to others about their faith and how to do that in a secular environment. But I realize that would have been off the point he was making. His goal was to show us in a few pages “how to teach our children to live for the glory of God as our overarching objective.”
The entire book concentrates on how to address the heart issues if a child, but in the process we learn a bit about ourselves. We learn that our behaviors all have a purpose behind them as well. For example... "Out of the heart the mouth speaks" (Luke 6:45 ) Our behavior reflects who we are on the inside. Our sin nature is revealed and to address the sin, we need to get to the root to get rid the weeds. When we train our children, the Almighty has a way of revealing to us what we need to work on. That is just the nature of teaching.
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