Being the Thanksgiving season, surprisingly I have time to reflect on the blessings of the year. Watching many posting all the things they are thankful for made me think about what I am thankful for as well. The blessings from the Lord are many. He blesses me in so many ways, that one might think that I wouldn't struggle with wanting more. But my sinful heart, like everyone else, has to be trained to suppress emotions and focus on "whatsoever is true" (Phil 4:8), and not on the things that I don't have, but on the things I do have.
We have an awesome God! He is Provider!
The Lord has provided for my family and I abundantly over the years. Being a family of seven, I have desired a large family, I just never expected to have it. And even though each child came with a c-section and other health issues...the Lord has still blessed us. Like anyone else, each child brought with them a whole new set of adjustments and challenges, still the Lord has always provided. There has never been a year gone by with a need that wasn't met. And as an added bonus, the one thing I did pray for was to be able to stay home with our children. A desire of my heart was to be able to train them up to know the Lord and to spare them the exposure to daycare and multiple caregivers. The Lord has answered that prayer. With our first two children, Steve and I worked opposite shifts and I only worked 20 hours a week. It was hard on our marriage, but by our third child the Lord made it possible for me to stay home full time.
We have a patient God! He is faithful, loving and forgiving!
For many years, after being saved, I struggled with what truth really is. Reading God's Word was a delight at first, but without consistent, faithful prayer, and full devotion to obey all of the counsel of God... my thoughts about scripture became confused. For many years, there were a number of passages in His book that I saw multiple interpretations. The author of lies and confusion had hold of my mind and would drive me to emotional despair. I was trying to obey laws that were clearly fulfilled through Jesus Christ and my thinking was based on a system of works and faith which was clearly wrong. Now I know we are in a completely New Covenant (Hebrews 8:13) and all things are fulfilled through Christ. With all my doing, I was expecting life to be easier and all my desires to be met. When they weren't, I began to loose hope. Things snowballed and one thing led to another until I was in so much despair that I lost the desire to serve in my home, I lost confidence in my ability to make decisions, and so much more. And for a couple of years, I dealt with deep depression. I praise our Father in Heaven for being faithful to His promises. One of my favorite verses is Phil 1:6, "...He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." After many years, the Lord has brought challenge after challenge in my life only to bring me to the conclusion that He is the source of all joy, peace and hope! Through the life and death of His Son, He has forgiven me of all past and future sins and has loved me unconditionally. He has shown me an example of pure love and forgiveness that I can only hope to mirror one day. I am learning that I have little to no control over my circumstances or my eternal state. All is accomplished through Him. As I submit myself under the Lord's power and teaching, I am also learning that I can handle all situations that He would place me in (Phil.4:13). I can find contentment through the most extreme circumstances trusting in the hope that each trial is but a "temporary and light affliction" compared to the future that awaits me. (2 Cor.4:17) Again, I am a work in progress, and have far to go. But I am thankful that the Lord has hold of me and is teaching me these truths. I am saved (positionally) in Christ through God's power, as I continue to "work out my salvation with fear and trembling" (practically) like all other believers in Christ.(Phil.2:12).And...
For many years, after being saved, I struggled with what truth really is. Reading God's Word was a delight at first, but without consistent, faithful prayer, and full devotion to obey all of the counsel of God... my thoughts about scripture became confused. For many years, there were a number of passages in His book that I saw multiple interpretations. The author of lies and confusion had hold of my mind and would drive me to emotional despair. I was trying to obey laws that were clearly fulfilled through Jesus Christ and my thinking was based on a system of works and faith which was clearly wrong. Now I know we are in a completely New Covenant (Hebrews 8:13) and all things are fulfilled through Christ. With all my doing, I was expecting life to be easier and all my desires to be met. When they weren't, I began to loose hope. Things snowballed and one thing led to another until I was in so much despair that I lost the desire to serve in my home, I lost confidence in my ability to make decisions, and so much more. And for a couple of years, I dealt with deep depression. I praise our Father in Heaven for being faithful to His promises. One of my favorite verses is Phil 1:6, "...He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." After many years, the Lord has brought challenge after challenge in my life only to bring me to the conclusion that He is the source of all joy, peace and hope! Through the life and death of His Son, He has forgiven me of all past and future sins and has loved me unconditionally. He has shown me an example of pure love and forgiveness that I can only hope to mirror one day. I am learning that I have little to no control over my circumstances or my eternal state. All is accomplished through Him. As I submit myself under the Lord's power and teaching, I am also learning that I can handle all situations that He would place me in (Phil.4:13). I can find contentment through the most extreme circumstances trusting in the hope that each trial is but a "temporary and light affliction" compared to the future that awaits me. (2 Cor.4:17) Again, I am a work in progress, and have far to go. But I am thankful that the Lord has hold of me and is teaching me these truths. I am saved (positionally) in Christ through God's power, as I continue to "work out my salvation with fear and trembling" (practically) like all other believers in Christ.(Phil.2:12).And...
Our God is Sovereign! He is our all powerful protector!
Our Heavenly Father protects us in so many ways, but my main thoughts go to this amazing last couple of years that our Lord has brought us through. One lesson after another started with my pregnancy with Danielle Faith. Her name, after Steve and I finally agreed upon it, was so fitting for the blessings and lessons I have been learning this year. Danielle means "God is my judge". I was first drawn to this name because of a study in Isaiah I did with Great Lakes Bible Institute. We talked about "EL" being in the many names of God and how it has been used over time. But there is so much more that surrounds that name for me. One of my biggest struggles in life has been with who/what has control of my heart? Who do I serve? Who will I answer to at the end of the day? For eternity? For a number of reasons, life events and such, insecurity has been a feeling that has governed my thinking. Where is security? Have I done enough? Am I appreciated? Do people even like me? Plus all kinds of "what if...?" thoughts. These things governed my actions. Coupled with fear, that I wasn't doing enough, the Lord brought me through this year showing me that He is sovereign over all. The Lord is teaching me that He is who and what matters the most. He is my judge! Not man. Not the things of this world. My strength and security needs to come from Him alone.
Danielle was a surprise to our family. It had been 5 years since I had our last child and I wondered how we would fare with a fifth child. I knew that the Lord was in control. Challenges tested my faith when Dani was born 2 1/2 months early. Last year (2012), Thanksgiving day, after the doctor had just said "everything looks great, no bed rest", I went into full labor and we raced to the hospital. Not sure what to expect, with each diagnosis and the gasps from the nurses, the intensity increased until I was completely put under. Danielle was born within an hour from leaving the house.
Four days of my own recovery was spent in the NICU learning how to care for our little girl. At first, honestly, the only comfort I had was in learning everything about her care because I felt helpless. A desire to be there with her and provide her with everything I could was coupled with an equal desire to be with the rest of my family. As time passed and each day became routine, I also became anxious in waiting for the day she would finally come home. The Lord blessed our family each day with so much love and support. Visitors, transportation help, and encouragement were constant. Plus... the Lord gave Danielle good health despite how early she was and provided some of the best medical care around. Once we were able to bring her home, we still had challenges, the Lord continued to show His sovereignty. Danielle was born during one of the worst flu seasons and she was home bound. The Lord used that time to rekindle a desire in my heart to focus on caring for my home and to strengthen my relationship with Steve. Decisions had to be made about immunizations and other "benefits" that we were not sure of. And I needed to submit myself to God's will under Steve's authority yet again. I was determined to trust the Lord. My heart can be so stubborn. Daily I would struggle with prioritizing my heart. Just doing the everyday living stuff, where at times as a wife and mother I felt unimportant and insignificant, was where the battle was for me. Wrestling with how I used my time, I battle daily with looking for significance in things outside the home where the Lord has placed me. Trying to please others was an effort on my behalf to feel good about myself and to feel needed. It is hard to stay focused on God, trusting Him, and placing priority on Him being the one to please. I am thankful for His work in me this year. Being aware where my priority has been is just the beginning of making necessary changes to grow. I am learning more and more how much I need the Lord, how wickedly sinful my heart is, and how short I fall from His standards each day.
As I reflect again on our Thanksgiving this year, I smile. Even this year didn't turn out at all like I had hoped either. But I am still blessed. Five beautiful children that are joyful and are growing up knowing the Lord surround me. And they all love each other. We have a warm home decorated with love and, again, plenty has been provided. I have a wonderful husband who is hard working, loves us all, and is also growing in the Lord. Truly, I have soooo much to be thankful for. As I continue to grow it is only by the Lord's power that I am able to choose actions that are dependent upon His word so that I can do His will. He is the one that provides all things that we need and gives us many opportunities to grow as we give Him the glory. And I am thankful for what He has been doing in my life. I can trust that I am in good hands.
Danielle was a surprise to our family. It had been 5 years since I had our last child and I wondered how we would fare with a fifth child. I knew that the Lord was in control. Challenges tested my faith when Dani was born 2 1/2 months early. Last year (2012), Thanksgiving day, after the doctor had just said "everything looks great, no bed rest", I went into full labor and we raced to the hospital. Not sure what to expect, with each diagnosis and the gasps from the nurses, the intensity increased until I was completely put under. Danielle was born within an hour from leaving the house.
As I reflect again on our Thanksgiving this year, I smile. Even this year didn't turn out at all like I had hoped either. But I am still blessed. Five beautiful children that are joyful and are growing up knowing the Lord surround me. And they all love each other. We have a warm home decorated with love and, again, plenty has been provided. I have a wonderful husband who is hard working, loves us all, and is also growing in the Lord. Truly, I have soooo much to be thankful for. As I continue to grow it is only by the Lord's power that I am able to choose actions that are dependent upon His word so that I can do His will. He is the one that provides all things that we need and gives us many opportunities to grow as we give Him the glory. And I am thankful for what He has been doing in my life. I can trust that I am in good hands.
1 comment:
I loved reading your thoughts from your heart! God has been so faithful to us, hasn't He? I also appreciate your honesty about your struggles about thankfulness. That is something we can all relate to. You have a beautiful family, Tina!
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